Tuesday 9 June

Tina goes to a principals (headteachers) meeting for several hours and then visits an old friend of her mother’s.

First paragraph from an educational article in The Times: “Performativity is forcing curriculum deliverers to focus on desired outputs among customers in managed learning environments”. To be fair it was an article rubbishing education jargon.

Tonight’s dinner is Aunt Margaret’s delicious casserole called “DRUNKEN LAMB”!!! NZ lamb too!
Here’s the recipe:
750g shoulder or leg lamb – diced into very small pieces
2 sherry glasses of port
Small garlic and rosemary
Cornflower
1 tablespoon red currant jelly

Toss meat in cornflower and seal it in hot pan with a little oil
Put it in to casserole dish with garlic and rosemary
Add port and enough water to cover
Cook on 190º for 2–2½ hours
Half an hour before finished ddd tablespoon of red currant jelly; mix
If thin add lamb (or chicken) gravy granules
Finish off cooking for ½ hour

Joke off tv: “Where does Napoleon keep his army?”
Answer: “Up his sleevey”

More from “Must Try Harder – The Very Worst Best Howlers By Schoolchildren”:
Science and Medicine
- Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead
- A circle is a figure with 0 corners and only one side
- A phlegmatic person is one who has chronic bronchitis
- Nuclear activity causes distortions in the jeans of women
- Nets are holes surrounded by pieces of string
- If you cross XY and XX chromosomes, you get XX (female), YY (male) and XY (undecided)
- If teeth are not cleaned plague is the result
- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there
- In biology today we digested a frog
- To germinate is to become a naturalised German
- The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours
- Pine is an example of a carnivorous tree
- Clouds just keep encircling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do
- Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from the burning of trees and cows
- Parallel lines never meet unless you bend one or both of them
Music
- S.O.S. is a musical term meaning “same only softer”
- I know what a sextet is, but I’d rather not say
- When not working in the church, Bach composed pieces on a spinster in his home
- Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing
- Stradivarious is an imaginary prehistoric animal
- John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present
- Handel was half German, half Italian and half English
- When electric currents go through them, guitars start making sounds. So would anybody