Monday 22 June

Lovely warm day!!!

We leave Dublin, heading southwest for the west coast. We drive through Curragh, site of the 1914 mutiny. First stop is the Irish National Stud. An impressive place and tour. We see young mothers with foals and the stallions. Top stallion is Invincible Spirit who will set you back €60,000 for 2 minutes “work”!!! But the horse that I felt sorry for was Thomas T’ Teaser. There is no way the humans can know if a mare is in heat so the mares are brought to Thomas T’ Teaser. He is in a stall; the mare is outside. Seeing a mare Thomas T’ Teaser gets interested. If the mare is in heat she will react in a certain way. If she reacts in this certain way she is whisked to do the business with a paying stallion. But think of poor old Thomas T’ Teaser. The frustration!!!

One of the amusing things in every school I have been in is to see how litter bugs the admin team. At the Irish National Stud they have signs reading “Beauty dies where litter lies”. Suggest tis phrase to your admin people and you'll be in their good books. Things like this amuse them.

Last at the Irish National Stud was the Japanese Gardens. We would have like longer in them as they were impressive. Very peaceful and beautiful.

I buy an Irish tie!

Lunch is at Cashel and we see the impressive Rock of Cashel.

The afternoon is a long drive down to Killarney. We have a group photo overlooking the lakes and go to Killarney Avenue Hotel (room 208) – 37th bed. Impressive hotel.

We go to the optional meal at Bleachfields in Milltown. It is an Irish night and Tina enjoyed it more than the last night as it as low key, locals loving their music and dance. On the way the tour director plays a cd from another Irish comedian. Here are a few I wrote down.

Murphy goes to his priest to confess. In the confession box he tells the priest about what happened during World War II.
“Father, a young woman was placed in our house and with the loss of electricity and blackouts it was very dark and I went into the wrong room. It was her room and by mistake I got into her bed and one thing led to another.”
“It is alright my son. You have confessed and you are forgiven.” Said the priest.
“Oh thank you Father. Just one more question; when do you think I should tell her the war is over?”

Patrick has died and his widow goes into the newspaper to put in a death notice. She is told it is a pound per word.
“Oh dear, that’s expensive,” she says. “Let’s make it ‘Patrick dead’. Yes, that’s two pounds.”
“No mam” says the man behind the counter. “There is a a five word minimum. Five pounds.”
“OK make it ‘Patrick dead. Volkswagen for sale’”

“It’s been a terrible day. I got up this morning and a button came off my shirt. Then my trousers split when I was putting them on. Then a shoe lace broke. I was afraid to go to the bathroom.”

Fergus was in an old people’s home. It was his birthday and his family organised a kiss-o-gram for him. She turned up in his room and had a lovely pair of … brown eyes. Fergus asked her “Who are you and why are you here?”
“I can give you super sex” she replied.
Fergus said “If it’s ok with you I’ll have the soup.”

Paddy dies and went to Heaven. He met St Peter who asked him to look after the gates to Heaven for a few minutes. St Peter told him “All a person has to do to get into Heaven is to spell the word ‘love’. L-O-V-E – that’s all.”
Paddy is sitting there when along comes his wife who has just died. She asks Paddy if she can come into Heaven. “Sure you can luv. All you need to do is spell one word – Czechoslovakia”