Tuesday 7 July

Tina wakes to alarm and then falls back to sleep. I didn’t even hear it.

Breakfast on 70th floor – cautious peek out to spectacular view (especially of harbour) and then quickly turn to face the interior walls; back to window.

Tina goes to conference. “Met some people, had a good day, need half an hour’s sleep” is her summary.

I book a round-the-island including Changi Prison tour for Thursday, read, mooch around mall, type and sleep … and sleep some more. When I was last here (2000) I missed doing two historical things with Changi being one of them.

Quick dinner (Subway!) and then go to the excellent Night Safari at Singapore Zoo. Note to Helen, Rachael Hannah’s mum goes on this too. After the tour I have my feet nibbled at for 15 minutes by Doctor Fish. Hundreds come to your feet like a magnet and nibble away the dead skin. It’s like a small vibration feeling except when some go to the middle of your sole; then it’s just ticklish. Tina only lasts the trial 5 minutes – I thought she was made of sterner stuff!

Lastly, I have my photo taken with a small python.

Hot and humid all day – people at the zoo at 10 in the evening were commenting that their hair was dripping wet.

Late night by the time we get back to hotel. But no washing is done (“The novelty has worn off.” Tina).
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Two items from a populist English paper:

1. Sue Williams, an artist from Swansea, has been given a £20,000 National Lottery grant to explore cultural attitudes to female buttocks. Mrs Williams will create plastercast moulds of women’s bottoms. “The project is taking on issues around the bottom.” Sue says. Let’s hear it for the poor blokes who have been making a serious study of the female backside for the past 5,000 years. And all entirely free of charge.

2. Too many hours in the saddle can affect a man’s fertility. If a man cycles 186 miles a week he damages his sperm. I reckon if a man cycles 186 miles a week it damages his marriage. All that silly headgear, fuchsia skintight lycra and pale hairy legs on show. Offices are full of men who cycle into work and have to make the walk of shame to the Gents. Cycling is emasculating our men. No wonder the sperm go on strike.

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And back to a quality paper.

Is there no end to Twittermania? … But now … a tool to aid the digestion of great literature. Fans of the classics will be delighted or appalled to learn that the New York branch of Penguin books has commissioned a new volume that will put great works through the Twitter mangle. The volume has a working title that will make the nerve ends of purists jangle: Twitterature.

In it, the authors (two 19 year olds) will reduce the jewels of world literature – Dante, Shakespeare, Joyce etc – into 20 tweets or fewer ie 20 sentences each with no more than 140 characters.

The Guardian journalist then helps out by summarising the New Testament in one tweet: Angel gets Mary up duff. Jesus chills for 30 years, gets Messiah complex and is topped. Comes back. Then I saw his face. Now I’m a believer.

Exactly 140 characters!